The Million Dollar Question

Everyone goes through stages. Along with each stage, you get asked questions. It all starts in high school. Upon graduation time, everyone starts asking you 'where are you going to college?' Then when you're in college, it turns into 'What's your major?'. If your lucky enough to make it past graduation, the question turns into 'Where are you going to work? Are you going to make enough money?'. If no one has questioned you for work or education, you've definitely heard it in regards to your love life.

If your from Utah, you know what I'm talking about. Right out of high school, friends and relatives start asking who you are dating. If your actually dating someone, beware, because the next question will be well, when are you getting married? It probably doesn't help that everyone in Utah seems to think they can marry the first person they come across that likes them for longer than a week, so you can only imagine the horror Tyson and I went through for the 6 years we dated prior to our wedding. It's like you've thrown a raw piece of meat into a cage full of hungry dogs in order for them to find out answers. Everyone is always asking you questions, trying to find the dirt, weasel their way into your business, trying to be more successful than you, and not to mention adding in their advice because you know, they ALWAYS know best. I can't count the number of times I was told to 'move on' or change my major.

So, that being said, this brings me to my Million Dollar Question.

I have seven kids in my family. We're blended. My oldest sibling is 17 years older than I, while my youngest is 4 years behind me. I became an aunt at a young age of 7, bringing my total at the age of 26 to 17. 17 nieces and nephews. I'm number 6 in the lineup of kids, while Mackenzie, my little sister and number 7,  has Down Syndrome and will be unable to have children. I'll get to her in a later post. Anyways, when Ty and I got married, my sister just 3 years older, I had her first child. She has since added 2 more, and that's when the finger gets pointed to me.

'When are you going to have kids?'

Friends, family, coworkers, and church members are all becoming investigators and educators as to when and why it would be a good idea to have children. Forgive me, but I'm pretty sure it is still my husband and I's decision when to start a family.

Outside of Utah, Ty and I are still considered relatively young to be married, let alone starting a family. So why is it, everyone that crosses your path, thinks they know when is the correct time to have a child? I understand its another stage of life. A lot of the reason people ask us questions are just trying to make simple small talk. But sometimes, those questions become so personal, they can hurt your relationship. 'When are you going to have kids' seems like small talk, but to those that are unable to have children, or just aren't ready at the time, this question can become an annoyance and can strain the relationship between both of you.

Are you one of those that ask the questions? Stop asking. If there was information we wanted you to know, we would have told you by now!

Starting a family is a very private and life changing event. We know our age, we know the probability of pregnancy, we know how long we have been married. But this is a decision a couple needs to make on their own. So, if you are friends or family of a couple that hasn't started a family yet, be loving, be kind and be patient. But please don't ask questions.