Marriage

I would say marriage is something you cannot prepare for. I remember all of my friends getting married, me thinking their life was perfect, wondering what their fairytale life would be like. The picture of marriage bliss was engraved in my head. I had friends tell me it was hard, but how hard could marriage truly be? The things we fought about prior to marriage would be insignificant now that we were together, and would be together forever. Our marriage was going to be perfect. 

A little background on us. Tyson and I dated for 5 years before we finally decided when we were going to get married. We had our fair share of ups and downs, bickers, fights, all out brawls with each other. When you are together for 5 years, you know each others habits, good and bad, their likes, dislikes, hobbies, foods, favorite movies, attitudes, everything. I remember getting advice from people saying 'marriage is just different'. How different could it be from dating someone that you have been with FOREVER? 

Oh how wrong I was. The first few weeks of marriage were AMAZING. How could they not be? We were in Kauai on our honeymoon. (Don't be a pervert). The amount of time we spent together, without interruption was heavenly. We didn't have to answer to anyone, no plans, no expectations, just him and me together. Reality set in about a month after our wedding. We had just moved into our home in Roy, and were learning how to live together. I learned Ty couldn't hang his towel to save his life and how much he ate.  My bank account slowly dwindled, as I had given him access. He saw that as an opportunity to purchase whatever he wanted. Men. So we learned what our monthly budget was. He learned that women, like men, have bodily functions too and how I don't shut the door while using the restroom. He learned that sleeping until 11 was normal for me, and that I hate cooking. (I am perfectly capable of cooking, I just don't like to do it). I learned he doesn't separate his clothes while doing laundry which resulted in his white shorts coming out a nice baby blue. 

Marriage has to be one of the hardest things I have gone through. We are coming up on 4 years of marriage, and 10 years of being together and still to this day I wonder 'what the heck are you thinking'. Too often I see young couples turning to divorce at the first sign of issues. No one ever told me marriage was going to be easy. It is somewhat of an expectation, but that's only because we watched a lot of movies. I have news for you. Movies lie. 

Ty and I have a lot of differences when it comes to marriage. We've discussed everything from when the appropriate age is to marry, to having kids, raising kids, the right job and career, even where to hang our wedding pictures. But at the end of the day, I know I am married to my best friend. 

Like I said before, Tyson and I have been together for almost 10 years. We aren't the typical mormons that got married after 2 weeks of dating. We actually knew each other before marriage was even brought up in conversation. I think the difference in our marriage is we work for it. We are best friends first. We put each other first, and we see each other as equals. 

The bible states It is not good that man shall be alone (Gen 2:18)

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh (Matthew 19:5)

Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. (Gen 2:24)

One of the biggest arguments we have had is over how to raise our children and which family was correct in raising us. The correct answer is they were both right. Every family is different and everyone is raised differently. That isn't to say someone was raised wrong. As a family, Tyson and I must decide what is best for us and our family. 

That's what marriage is all about for us.  Not comparing how our parents did it, but deciding how we want to make decisions and do things in our family. We communicate. If one person is doing all the talking and not asking what the others thoughts or opinions are, how do you expect to make decisions? We respect each other. I've heard a lot of friends and family give the advice of 'don't let her walk all over you' or 'don't let him do what he wants'. Ty and I respect each other on a completely different level. We are best friends. We don't keep secrets from each other. We are honest in our relationship. And we don't do things that would hurt the other person. 

I've seen so many marriages fall apart for different reasons in the past year and felt like I needed to put my stance of marriage into writing. I see marriage as a very valuable thing, and something I hold close to my heart. It is something I find sacred, and that I will always honor. Call me old fashioned, but I think you get what you give. And as for me and my marriage, I'll give 110%. 

XOXO