3 long years

In the past week, 6 friends have announced their pregnancy. Although I am so ecstatic for each and every one of them, I can't help but feel a deep longing for one of my own.

It's been 2 years, 11 months, and 18 days since the day we found out we were pregnant. It wasn't planned, but we were excited. Obviously the pregnancy wasn't successful, and we've been trying for a baby ever since.

Three years. Three long years of no positive pregnancy test and no baby. Three years goes so slow when you're younger, but when you grow up, time seems to speed up. Except for when you actually want something to happen that you have no control over. I've watched month after month of my cycle coming and going. I've tracked my fertile times, I've cleaned up my diet (even more than I had previous). At this point I can't help but wonder why? So many friends and family members are able to  conceive so easily.

A close family member made the decision to become a surrogate for a couple in Spain. They don't have any children. At first, when I heard her decision, I was angry. In fact, I was angry for the entire pregnancy. How could she be so selfish? She already has children of her own.  She's already been pregnant. She's doing it for attention. How was she going to explain this to her children? I've been counting down the days to when the baby was due so I didn't have to see the pregnant belly several times a week that served as a reminder to me that I just wasn't good enough.

The baby came. I still had remorse toward that family member UNTIL yesterday. The family of the new baby came for dinner. I thought it was weird my family member was inviting the surrogate family for dinner. They walked in with the baby in her stroller. The kids ran over to greet their... surrogate sibling? I don't really know how to refer to them. But then I saw the parents' face. They were the happiest people on earth. They were given the gift of a child. A human. A baby with their DNA that someone so selflessly carried for this couple. My heart immediately softened. My family member dedicated a year of her life to help give this couple a family. I watched the family so graciously share their new addition with my family - allowing each child to hold the tiny creature their mom grew for 9 months. I watched as their eyes lit up to see such a little thing that made these strangers so happy.

Before leaving, I had a chance to hold the most perfect being. She smelled like heaven. My heart ached as I held her and couldn't help but wonder when it would be my turn to hold a perfect being that was mine.

I know my day will come. I know the Lord has a plan for all of us.

For now, the next time you see someone that doesn't have children. Or maybe they do but they're struggling to conceive for the next one. Just love them. Let them know they are special and important, regardless of being a mother/father.

XOXO

Sun Valley 2017

Sometimes the summer sun gets a little too warm and we decide to head north for some cooler temps. We headed to Sun Valley back in July for some much needed R&R. We typically rent a home on the north end of town that's large enough to fit our growing family. This has been a new family tradition on the Land side and it's been absolutely incredible. Never in a million years would I have guessed going to a mountain town would be enjoyable, BUTTT when you're married you try new things to please your partner, haha. It turns out, it's one of my favorite places to go with the fam. One of the best parts about Sun Valley is there are so many different areas to explore. From hiking to mountain biking, riding around town on the paved bike paths, fishing, golfing, and exploring red fish lake, Sun Valley has something to do for every age. It's completely affordable for families of all ages by renting a house instead of doing multiple hotel rooms. We love using VRBO.com! It has multiple options, we can bring our dog, and you have the comfort of a home away from home.

We've also visited Sun Valley in the winter and it's equally as beautiful. We've got some great memories from skiing the Sun Valley Resort, and enjoyed some of the local restaurants in the meantime.

XOXO Ty & Dre

Health and Strength

Six months ago I never would have guessed my body was in as bad of shape as it really was. I thought I was the healthiest I've ever been. I was working with a trainer for months prior, counting macros and finally achieving what I wanted when it came to body image. After visiting with my holistic healer, I learned body image is only the outside and someone can be severely messed up on the inside. Since then, I've been on the road to recovery to try to change my body in a better way.

I've been asked numerous times 'do you feel any better?' - and YES I do!

I know the holistic approach is a little different from the typical doctor visit and 'healthy' guidelines, but it was something I felt comfortable with and wanted to try before succumbing to the modern medicinal approach.

I've gone back to my holistic healer three times in the past months. My face is clearing up and eating healthy is no longer a burden but a way of life for me. I've had a few cheats and all they did was make me sick. So that's nice (insert eye roll here). I moved on from Lori (the holistic healer) to a foot zoner. That's a whole other issue but she's been able to tell me things that are going on in my body and a solution.

Sometimes issues aren't always physical, but emotional. In working with the foot zoner, we've discovered there are emotional issues that can block fertility rather than physical imperfections internally. Over the past month I've been able to slowly work through the emotions and find peace in where I am at this point in life. I'm a firm believer the Lord works in mysterious ways. Our plan of life has no timeline and if things aren't meant to be, they just aren't meant to be. BUT I have faith that one day, Ty and I will become parents. Whether it be biological or adoptive, we will be blessed with children in our family.

Andrea

Here's to the future

Wow. Over a year later. I used to be so good at writing here, but now I'm terrible. Priorities, peeps.

The past year has been a whirlwind. We traveled a lot in 2016, attempting to make Kauai our second home without success (Tyson's issues, not mine :)). Although my love for traveling has continued to grow, I can't help but feel like I'm trying to fill a void in my life. A few posts back I talked about my miscarriage and how it effected us as individuals. I've felt that hole inside ever since. 2 years, 3 months ago. I'd talked to my doctor in hopes of him giving me instructions of how to get pregnant. Nope. They don't do that. Not to mention it could get awkward. Instead he checked me out, said everything was normal and that we must be missing each other during that special time. I figured that was the case.

My traveling slowed down, and I was able to actually spend time with my husband. I tried to relax and not think about having a baby but every time my 'Aunt Flo' would visit, I found myself getting more discouraged and depressed. Meanwhile, amongst our struggles, friends and family would post of their happy news of a tiny family member coming soon in the upcoming months. I continued to feel joy and happiness for them, but that isn't to say the news didn't hurt.

Finally, I decided to call my doctor and get my hormones tested. Working three jobs can take a toll on the body and I knew I was more stressed than what I should be. I figured he would tell me I needed to eliminate some of the stress (annndddd you do that, how?) and put me on some type of medication to regulate my hormones. Last Friday, I called the doctor to make an appointment for a blood test. Upon explaining to the nurse what my circumstances were, she asked me to call back the next week when the doctor was in so she could ask what the proper procedure would be.  I called Ty, informing him what the nurse said and he made a suggestion.

Tyson recently informed his family of our situation. His mom suggested going to a 'witch doctor'. Sounds crazy, I GET IT. However, I had met with this family friend before to get a hydro-cleanse. Yes, I recommend it. The holistic healer had a test that could measure my body, the inconsistencies, toxin levels, impurities, and frequencies. (Did you know our bodies have frequencies? Yup, me neither.) So being the tree huggers we are, I agreed to see the witch doctor.

Fast forward to Wednesday (yesterday). I showed up to the office and she asked me a few basic questions. Then she pulled out two metal grips. She told me to hang on to them. I picked them up and instantly the computer started going crazy. The grips were reading the frequencies in my body, measuring deficiencies, picking up on bacterias, impurities and toxins within the body. She did this test three separate times. Each time was a new test with detailed results. I found out in 1 hour what most people don't found out for weeks. I saw what vitamins I was deficient in, which organs weren't functioning properly, bacterial infections, why my skin is breaking out, toxins sitting in my body, allergies, sensitivities, etc.

I thought I was relatively healthy. I go to the gym (mostly) on the regular, eat healthy (we eliminated grains, sugar, and processed foods three years ago), I don't drink or smoke. After seeing the results, I was completely shocked. As a result, the 'witch doctor' put me on a regimen that eliminates a lot of the foods I am sensitive or allergic to. She gave me some natural remedies to help with fertility. But most of all she gave me the peace in knowing I wasn't crazy. There is something wrong with my body.

I understand I sound completely nuts. Being a self-employed family, we don't make a lot and we're cheap. Therefore, we have to be frugal with our money. We tend to try a lot of home remedies, go chemical free, and go to the doctor in EMERGENCIES only. The witch doctor costs less than a doctor visit. She didn't have to take my blood or give me an MRI. She didn't use an ultrasound or an X-ray. She simply scanned me with the Asyra machine.

We're on a 5 week climb to change my body. I couldn't do this without my amazing husband. He drops anything to come help with whatever I need. His extensive knowledge on home remedies and holistic healing is insane. I will forever be grateful for the compassion and love he has for me and our little family. He is my better half. If you don't marry your best friend, you're missing out. Here's to hoping!

XOXO
The Lands

Mexico 2015

Almost every year, we go on a trip with the Land side of the family. This year, we had the opportunity of going to Cancun, Mexico. At first I was completely hesitant because of the negative things you hear about that location. But I never felt threatened in the least. I was so incredibly grateful as my mother in law reserved us a room all to ourselves. I truly thought I was going to cry when she gave us an envelope for our anniversary and inside was a room of our own for the trip. Anyway, we stayed at the absolutely beautiful Westin Lagunamar and had the best time! The resort had everything you could imagine, including a waterslide for me (yes, I went down it at least 50 times).

 Don't worry, Cancun. I'm sure we will be back.

XOXO