3 long years

In the past week, 6 friends have announced their pregnancy. Although I am so ecstatic for each and every one of them, I can't help but feel a deep longing for one of my own.

It's been 2 years, 11 months, and 18 days since the day we found out we were pregnant. It wasn't planned, but we were excited. Obviously the pregnancy wasn't successful, and we've been trying for a baby ever since.

Three years. Three long years of no positive pregnancy test and no baby. Three years goes so slow when you're younger, but when you grow up, time seems to speed up. Except for when you actually want something to happen that you have no control over. I've watched month after month of my cycle coming and going. I've tracked my fertile times, I've cleaned up my diet (even more than I had previous). At this point I can't help but wonder why? So many friends and family members are able to  conceive so easily.

A close family member made the decision to become a surrogate for a couple in Spain. They don't have any children. At first, when I heard her decision, I was angry. In fact, I was angry for the entire pregnancy. How could she be so selfish? She already has children of her own.  She's already been pregnant. She's doing it for attention. How was she going to explain this to her children? I've been counting down the days to when the baby was due so I didn't have to see the pregnant belly several times a week that served as a reminder to me that I just wasn't good enough.

The baby came. I still had remorse toward that family member UNTIL yesterday. The family of the new baby came for dinner. I thought it was weird my family member was inviting the surrogate family for dinner. They walked in with the baby in her stroller. The kids ran over to greet their... surrogate sibling? I don't really know how to refer to them. But then I saw the parents' face. They were the happiest people on earth. They were given the gift of a child. A human. A baby with their DNA that someone so selflessly carried for this couple. My heart immediately softened. My family member dedicated a year of her life to help give this couple a family. I watched the family so graciously share their new addition with my family - allowing each child to hold the tiny creature their mom grew for 9 months. I watched as their eyes lit up to see such a little thing that made these strangers so happy.

Before leaving, I had a chance to hold the most perfect being. She smelled like heaven. My heart ached as I held her and couldn't help but wonder when it would be my turn to hold a perfect being that was mine.

I know my day will come. I know the Lord has a plan for all of us.

For now, the next time you see someone that doesn't have children. Or maybe they do but they're struggling to conceive for the next one. Just love them. Let them know they are special and important, regardless of being a mother/father.

XOXO

Sun Valley 2017

Sometimes the summer sun gets a little too warm and we decide to head north for some cooler temps. We headed to Sun Valley back in July for some much needed R&R. We typically rent a home on the north end of town that's large enough to fit our growing family. This has been a new family tradition on the Land side and it's been absolutely incredible. Never in a million years would I have guessed going to a mountain town would be enjoyable, BUTTT when you're married you try new things to please your partner, haha. It turns out, it's one of my favorite places to go with the fam. One of the best parts about Sun Valley is there are so many different areas to explore. From hiking to mountain biking, riding around town on the paved bike paths, fishing, golfing, and exploring red fish lake, Sun Valley has something to do for every age. It's completely affordable for families of all ages by renting a house instead of doing multiple hotel rooms. We love using VRBO.com! It has multiple options, we can bring our dog, and you have the comfort of a home away from home.

We've also visited Sun Valley in the winter and it's equally as beautiful. We've got some great memories from skiing the Sun Valley Resort, and enjoyed some of the local restaurants in the meantime.

XOXO Ty & Dre

Health and Strength

Six months ago I never would have guessed my body was in as bad of shape as it really was. I thought I was the healthiest I've ever been. I was working with a trainer for months prior, counting macros and finally achieving what I wanted when it came to body image. After visiting with my holistic healer, I learned body image is only the outside and someone can be severely messed up on the inside. Since then, I've been on the road to recovery to try to change my body in a better way.

I've been asked numerous times 'do you feel any better?' - and YES I do!

I know the holistic approach is a little different from the typical doctor visit and 'healthy' guidelines, but it was something I felt comfortable with and wanted to try before succumbing to the modern medicinal approach.

I've gone back to my holistic healer three times in the past months. My face is clearing up and eating healthy is no longer a burden but a way of life for me. I've had a few cheats and all they did was make me sick. So that's nice (insert eye roll here). I moved on from Lori (the holistic healer) to a foot zoner. That's a whole other issue but she's been able to tell me things that are going on in my body and a solution.

Sometimes issues aren't always physical, but emotional. In working with the foot zoner, we've discovered there are emotional issues that can block fertility rather than physical imperfections internally. Over the past month I've been able to slowly work through the emotions and find peace in where I am at this point in life. I'm a firm believer the Lord works in mysterious ways. Our plan of life has no timeline and if things aren't meant to be, they just aren't meant to be. BUT I have faith that one day, Ty and I will become parents. Whether it be biological or adoptive, we will be blessed with children in our family.

Andrea

Mexico 2015

Almost every year, we go on a trip with the Land side of the family. This year, we had the opportunity of going to Cancun, Mexico. At first I was completely hesitant because of the negative things you hear about that location. But I never felt threatened in the least. I was so incredibly grateful as my mother in law reserved us a room all to ourselves. I truly thought I was going to cry when she gave us an envelope for our anniversary and inside was a room of our own for the trip. Anyway, we stayed at the absolutely beautiful Westin Lagunamar and had the best time! The resort had everything you could imagine, including a waterslide for me (yes, I went down it at least 50 times).

 Don't worry, Cancun. I'm sure we will be back.

XOXO